A Case for Forgiveness in Mediation

What is the Role of Forgiveness in Mediation?
Forgiveness can be a powerful and transformative element in mediation and conflict resolution.  While forgiveness is not always the main goal in mediation, it can create a conducive environment for amicably resolving conflicts. The case for forgiveness in mediation stems not just from its potential to facilitate resolution but also from its potential to allow for emotional healing, overcoming feelings of guilt, rebuilding relationships, promoting reconciliation, and offering something of personal value to those who have experienced harm or loss. And, as mediators, we should be open to providing support to parties in a conflict in pursuing opportunities for forgiveness.

Restoring Connections
For those of you who have attended one of my mediation training courses or listened to me speak before, you know I talk about there being two basic human needs from a neurobiological perspective. One basic need is growth and development and the other one, which is more pertinent to this discussion, is connection — our need to be connected to others around us and be part of a broader community or society.

This second basic need underscores the importance of apologies and the role of forgiveness in restoring those important connections in our lives, whether they are connections between family members, other loved ones, coworkers, or even broader communities or nation-states.  The idea of restoring our connections with each other speaks to who we are at our very basic human level.

The Power of Forgiveness
Years ago, I attended a lecture by Van Jones, a noted CNN commentator, who described being present in South Carolina at the scene of a church shooting where a white gunman had opened fire during a prayer session killing nine African American parishioners. He arrived the day after the shooting to participate in a panel of commentators covering the tragedy and its aftermath.

As a young African American man, Van described being so filled with rage that morning that as he was being fitted with his microphone, he couldn’t bring himself to look his fellow panelists in the eye. Then he recounted, a most amazing thing happened.

As they were preparing for the broadcast, sounds of singing rose from the church behind them, softly at first, then rising with emotion as the church choir led the congregation in the hymn “Alleluia”. As Van described the moment, it wasn’t an expression of joy but of happiness, a happiness that flowed because the church members had found it within their hearts to forgive. And while the church gunman may have taken lives, he would not be allowed to take the souls of those he had so callously murdered.

And with this realization by the church congregation that the power of forgiveness was theirs to wield, with forgiveness came a renewal of hope and faith. Van found comfort in the moment, a moment he described as reflecting the best of the human spirit.

Forgiveness is a Personal Choice
What I found so profoundly moving about this story at the time was that it reflected a personal choice, really a group of them. But it was a conscious decision made immediately in the aftermath of unspeakable tragedy and divorced from consideration of reconciliation, punishment, or apology. I remember thinking, I don’t know if I would have the strength within me to forgive, much less in that moment.

My reflection on forgiveness has continued this past year as I have been involved in teaching and conversations with mediators in Ukraine and the Middle East. I have often found myself thinking, is there a case for forgiveness to be made? A case that offers something of value to those who have endured life-altering suffering.

Dr Robert Enright is a professor of Forgiveness Science at the University of Madison- Wisconsin. Dr. Enright has been studying forgiveness for over forty years and has made it his life’s mission to “promote forgiveness in every willing heart, home and homeland”. During a recent podcast on CNN, Dr. Enright, while reminding us that forgiveness is a personal choice, begins by saying that he doesn’t subscribe to the mantra “forgive and forget”. Rather, he teaches that it is healing to “forgive and remember”.  Dr. Enright continues that the lesson is to remember in a different way, learning to remember without the rancor and without the rage. Ultimately, when we do remember, it’s without the same kind of pain.

Developing Empathy for Forgiveness
Dr. Enright teaches us that our ability to forgive can be strengthened like a muscle. The more we forgive, the easier it becomes. He describes a simple lesson where you close your eyes and imagine someone who has hurt you in some way. What do you feel? Anger? Resentment? Frustration? Sadness? Fear?  Are there physical sensations called somatic markers, like a clenched jaw or a knot in your stomach, that confirm your state of agitation?  Now, take several deep breaths and ask yourself, can I forgive this person? Can I empathize with them and what brought them to this hurtful moment?

Dr. Enright also speaks about the timing of forgiveness. He counsels that those who have been gravely mistreated must respect their emotions and that forgiveness occurs most typically once you have “settled in your heart”. Some will be ready. Many will not. Yet for those who freely choose forgiveness, it can be deeply healing.

The Benefits of Forgiveness
When we can consciously cultivate forgiveness, it carries with it profound psychological and physical benefits. Psychological studies have revealed that those who can forgive experience reduced anger, anxiety, and depression, while physical benefits include lower blood pressure, better sleep, and reduced stress.

In one group who had undergone Dr. Enright’s twelve-step forgiveness program and were then connected to a heart monitor, “the arteries of the heart stayed open to a statistically significantly greater degree than those who did not have forgiveness”.  It’s these scientific findings that underly the quote by Lewis Smedes, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you”.

I’m mindful that forgiveness is a profoundly personal choice. For some, the scale of the harm suffered may never lend itself to choosing a path other than revenge. For others, the ability to see an adversary as a wounded person yet sharing a common humanity may give rise to life-altering benefits.

One year, on a teaching excursion to Rwanda with my partner and wife Susan, we were hosted at the opening of a community center in a small village outside of Kigali, the nation’s capital. Only 25 years removed from the worst genocide of the past century, perpetrators of violence and victims of violence were still living in the same small communities attempting to coexist against a backdrop of unspeakable violence.

The program finale involved two villagers standing shoulder to shoulder before the assembled audience to describe the benefit of having this new community center, a forum for resolving disputes and engaging their community. First, the man described his guilt and shame surrounding his murder of the woman’s family during the first hours of the 100-day genocide. She spoke next of forgiveness, her faith, and her willingness to accept him back into the community. They had faced each other in the hardest of conversations and ultimately found peace with each other, even working together to start a basket-weaving business.

From Genocide to Reconciliation, Lessons from Rwanda

Earlier this year, Rwandan President Paul Kagame spoke to the U.S. National Prayer Breakfast gathering (click to read) and attempted to answer a simple question: after a country loses a million people in a genocide, how do you repair that country? How can you break the cycle of violence, heal the psychological wounds created by a seemingly intractable conflict, and shift to reconciliation?

President Kagame suggested that Rwanda’s experience portends more than a story, “It is also a warning. A warning about what happens when we allow hatred to triumph over humanity”.

Why Rwanda?

So what can a small nation lying in the middle of the African continent have to teach the rest of the world about hatred, violent conflict, and, ultimately, reconciliation? What hope rises from the ashes of one of the bloodiest massacres of the 20th century? And why should those in the Western world not look away from this painful chapter in human history, rationalizing that this could never happen somewhere to them?

This week marks a week-long commemoration of the 30th anniversary of the 1994 Rwandan genocide. In April of that year, the armed Hutus tore apart their country, targeting the Tutsi minority and others who stood in their way. Neighbor turned on neighbor, and by the end of the 100-day killing spree, close to a million people had been murdered.

In the words of President Kagame, when the violence was stopped, “almost every Rwandan was displaced and bereaved. All public institutions had been destroyed. The harvest was ruined and there was no money to rebuild”.

Peaceful solutions to conflicts

In 2017, when we first visited Kigali, Rwanda’s capital, we made it a point to visit the Kigali Genocide Memorial when our host told us that one can’t truly appreciate where Kigali is today without first understanding its past, meaning a past defined by the genocide. It is said that more than 250,000 human remains are buried in the vicinity of the Genocide Memorial. Touring the memorial included the most vivid reminders of man’s inhumanity to man. Like most others, I left that experience deeply moved by the disturbing images of brutality and even more committed to bringing the lessons of mediation to a country hungry in its search for peaceful solutions to conflict.

We have returned to Kigali many times since that first visit. And over the ensuing years, Edwards Mediation Academy has worked with others to bring mediation to Rwanda and, with it, systemic change to the court system and government institutions and the implementation of restorative justice programs. We have worked with Chief Justice Emeritus, Prof. Sam Rugege, and the current Chief Justice, The Honorable Faustin Ntezilyayo. With the leadership of Weinstein International Fellows Bernadette Uwicyeza, Harrison Mutabazi, and Anastase Nahabire, we have trained almost one thousand judges, attorneys, business leaders, and NGO, and government officials. We have partnered with the Kigali Bar Association, the Rwanda Bankers Association, and community leaders to bring mediation skills to the forefront for use in court-annexed mediation programs, community programs, and everyday conflict. It is but one small chapter in Rwanda’s larger story of success.

Using dialogue and reconciliation to repair the social fabric

We must not forget the lessons
The more important story, the story that the world needs to hear on this commemorative anniversary, is what happens when leaders seek to divide us rather than search for collaboration and nonviolent solutions to conflict.

Again, in the words of President Kagame, “We have turned the corner in Rwanda, but the same ideology that justified the genocide against the Tutsi is still alive and well in our region. And we see the same indifference from the wider world as in 1994. It is as if those expensive lessons are always lost, and we stare blindly as the same type of situation builds up again”.

Unfortunately, the lessons today are all too familiar. Whether we are confronted with wars in Ukraine, the Middle East, Myanmar, Sudan, or other regions of increasing violence and conflict, the answer to violence isn’t continued violence; it is an urgent need to stop the violence and search instead for dialogue and reconciliation.

Outside of Kigali lies a small village, one of many surrounding the capital. During one visit to a local community center and its showcase project of teaching forgiveness to community members, we sat in awe as we listened to the story of two neighbors; one, the perpetrator of violence having murdered his neighbor’s family, and the other, the sole survivor of that murderous rampage. In their quest for reconciliation, the victims of violence were asked for the greater good, to swallow their anger and bitterness, and give the one thing they had left to give: forgiveness. The perpetrator had professed profound regret, expressed sincere apology, and served time for his crimes before seeking to reenter his community.

These two Rwandans had found it within themselves to embrace forgiveness. They stood before us as a living testimonial to the potential of the human spirit and a stark reminder of what can happen when leaders seek to divide rather than unite communities.

The need to pursue dialogue over divides
As we head into election season in 2024, whether the European Parliament elections in June, the U.S. presidential election in November, or any of the other 64 nations holding elections this year, we would do well to remember the lessons of Rwanda.

Again, the words of President Kagame: ‘Healthy nations are those where we always strive to put the politics of unity and peace above all else, no matter how many times we fall short of that ideal. It is the practice of reconciliation, in matters large and small, which creates and recreates healthy nations and turns strangers and enemies into a family of citizens.”

Why Rwanda? The unimaginable cost paid by this small nation stands as a warning of what can happen when divisiveness, hatred, and polarization become the norm. Today, in a sign of national unity, Rwandan ID cards don’t label citizens as Hutu or Tutsi, but simply as Rwandans.

We all need to recommit to the constant work required to pursue dialogue over divides and find ways to connect with those holding different views. Only then will we be able to restore faith in our future and pass along a legacy of tolerance and acceptance to our children. This is the lesson of Rwanda. This is why, during this commemorative week, we are all Rwandans.

Rethinking Basic Mediation Training: Essential Skills

The key to developing true mediation competency begins with “me”

In addition to basic mediation training, what do mediators need to improve their mediation competency? While mediation skills training remains vital to the practice of mediation, the key to developing mediation competency begins with self-reflection, self-awareness, and self-management. Before determining how we can effectively assist those in conflict, we must first look inward to better understand our own emotional competency and the impact we have on others around the mediation table. Developing essential mediation and conflict resolution skills is truly a life-long journey of self-development that begins with “me.”

The mediation process
Over recent years, as alternative dispute resolution processes have developed, we have witnessed the introduction of mediation, a process defined as a facilitated negotiation that attempts to return disputants to the roots of conflict resolution modalities.

Mediation works because it seeks to bring parties together to communicate directly with each other, at times with emotion, but also to break bread and hopefully realize different perspectives. Above all else, it’s a process that addresses basic human needs beginning with the need to be heard, respected, and participate in a process that seeks solutions responsive to the needs and interests of all the parties involved.

Mediation is a collaborative process that can resolve a wide range of disputes. I know it well, having conducted over 8,000 mediations in the past thirty-five years in matters involving construction disputes, employment claims, workplace conflicts, business disputes, personal injury, and wrongful death. Completing a 40-hour training program in mediation theory and skills is essential to becoming a competent mediator.

Yet mediation works because of the facilitator’s skill, and therefore, its promise is dependent on high-quality mediation training. Mediation is a voluntary process that empowers parties to air their concerns and find mutually agreeable solutions.

What, then, should we know about mediation training to better understand how to develop mediator competence in the growing profession of those who would choose to intervene in resolving the conflicts of others? I’ve taught mediation techniques and skills to judges, attorneys, government officials, and others for over three decades, traveling to over twenty-five countries during my teaching journeys. Additionally, I am the co-creator of an online mediation training academy that has made mediation skill development available worldwide. This experience has bought me a front-row seat to the development of our nascent profession and, at the same time, provided me with a unique perspective on what is required to develop true mediation competency, including understanding the mediator’s role in managing the process and gaining the trust of the parties.

Looking inward
My educational background was in psychology years ago before entering law school, so it’s only natural that I tend to view the mediation process, and therefore mediation training, through a psychological lens. Viewed from this perspective, it’s easy to understand that before we can effectively assist those in conflict, we must first look inward to better understand our own emotional competency and the impact we will have on others around the mediation table. If we hope to realize the promise of mediation, we must aspire to the highest level of mediative competency in our profession, a journey that begins by looking inward.

The importance of self-management in the mediation process and conflict resolution skills
All mediators should understand that as facilitators of the negotiation and settlement process, we introduce ourselves into the conflict. With that introduction comes our own unique personality, emotions, relevant life experiences, and biases. It is this constellation of individual characteristics, interests, and skills that makes each of us unique and why mediation, at its core, is truly an exercise in personal service.

Unfortunately, most mediators looking to improve their mediation competency, and therefore most training courses, are quick to focus on specific skill development, such as active listening skills, patience, establishing ground rules, using open-ended questions, and negotiation. They ignore the critical need for self-reflection and self-management as a precursor to effectively assisting those in conflict, including the other party.

Simply stated, self-management remains a professional weakness for many mediators who eschew the need for and the effort required to effectively manage, negotiate, and resolve conflict within themselves as an integral part of the mediation process.

What self-management is not
What do I mean by self-management, and what other principles do mediators need to understand about themselves before effectively engaging with others? Before answering the question of self-management, it’s important to distinguish what it is not. Self-management training in the business world often focuses on time management practices and increasing productivity.

In contrast, professional mediators’ discussions of self-management are less about efficiency and more about effectiveness. It’s less about acquiring specific skills and knowledge and more about developing social competencies. Describing the process as self-management training does an injustice to the level of commitment and the lifelong journey required for self-development to become a successful mediator.

The essential first step
What is the point of self-management, and why is it an essential first step in developing mediator and dispute resolution professional competence? Ancient Greeks emphasized three aspects of the human experience: the mind, the body, and the spirit. This time-honored perspective provides a valuable template for examining self-management and its goal to develop mediation competency in addition to basic mediation training. Specifically, we should envision a triangle with each side reflecting a different focus point of self-management: self-management of the mind, self-management of the body, and self-management of the spirit (emotions). A deeper understanding and self-mastery of these self-management focuses should become the taproot of all future learning.

Self-Management of the Mind
Throughout my teaching career, I’ve coined the term Mediator’s Mind™ to describe the mental model we create for ourselves that defines our approach to mediation and shapes our every intervention in the conflict environment. Self-management of the mind begins with self-reflection and developing a strong vision of how we see our role in mediation. This mental model will become a good mediator’s North Star that can be returned to time and again during difficult moments in mediation.

I’ve also described our journey through life as an exercise in focused attention. Yet we know from brain research that at any given moment, we only commit a fraction of our available attention to the relevant task at hand. Similarly, we know from our own everyday experience that the constant white noise of our internal conversation, at best, distracts us from devoting full attention to active listening and communicating with others. Self-management of the mind thus begins with sharpening our ability to maintain focus and use our internal voice productively while engaging others in conversation.

More recently, we have developed a deeper appreciation for cognitive and emotional biases role in our ability to perceive the environment clearly and communicate effectively with others. Effective self-management of the mind begins with understanding our own biases and how to account for and address them as we intervene with the parties involved in mediation.

Self-Management of the Body
As mediators, we know the importance of nonverbal communication and pay as much attention to physical cues and behavior as the spoken word. Yet, how many mediators take the time to hold up the mirror of self-reflection and examine their own body’s cues, behaviors, and roles in mediation? How many are aware of their own internal signals?

Somatic markers
A term in psychology, somatic markers, refers to our physical responses to external stimuli, often stressors in our environment. An example is when you open your email server, and just seeing a sender’s name causes your stomach to turn or your jaw to clench. In mediation, how often have you paused before walking into a private conversation with one party, only to observe a tightness in your chest or some other physical manifestation of stress? Learning to pay attention to these important signals our bodies send us is the first step to self-management of the body.

Mastering body language
Equally pivotal to self-awareness is mastering our body language. The recent trend toward online dispute resolution and forced marriage between mediation and technology has offered an unparalleled opportunity for the self-management of the body. Spending eight hours a day on a computer screen allows you to observe yourself in the moment. We have never had a better chance to witness and become aware of our body language, including subtle facial expressions, as we communicate with others.

Self-Management of the Spirit (Emotions)
Self-management of the spirit entails developing emotional intelligence, defined as the ability to perceive, understand, and manage strong emotions. The journey toward understanding and expanding one’s emotional intelligence has been equated, metaphorically speaking, to exercising and strengthening one’s emotional muscle. The first step toward developing this muscle is to conduct a self-assessment, which means evaluating your shape and acknowledging your baseline for expanding your emotional capacity.

Reflective exercises
To assist this capacity building, we begin our training by encouraging students to engage in reflective exercises to understand and appreciate how one’s immediate family members influenced their emotional development. We also train them to rate their current feelings using positive and negative scales. These exercises and practices help mediators learn to attend to their own emotional state while better understanding and creating the opportunity for developing a higher level of emotional competency.

Self-Care and Self-Compassion
Self-management of one’s emotional well-being also includes self-care and self-compassion. Paradoxically, many of us are drawn to this profession by a profound need to assist others, and doing so effectively requires extraordinary amounts of empathy and compassion.

Compassion burnout
Yet when the mirror is reflected inward, we find ourselves dealing with an industry-wide epidemic of compassion fatigue and burnout caused by an inability to access the same degree of self-compassion as one has when assisting others. Simply put, one cannot continuously work close to the flame of high emotions without giving equal attention to one’s own well-being.

Conclusion
This journey toward mediation expertise begins with the need to develop the highest levels of mediation competency in those who intervene in dispute resolution and problem-solving. The professional insight required to effortlessly deliver essential skills, strategies, and techniques to resolve conflicts in the presence of discord and high emotions begins with a commitment to honest self-reflection, self-awareness, and thoughtful self-management focused on mind, body, and emotions.

Yet it must be emphasized that the noble goals of achieving these levels of personal and social competency will not come from books, blogs, or webinars. Instead, they will evolve only from a lifelong commitment to self-reflection and personal development.

If the goal is to realize mediation’s full potential, it must begin with a personal journey devoted to high-quality education and practice, including personal development. Of course, these are not easy lessons. Yet, rethinking these essential mediation skills must be the first step in preparing ourselves to help others in the mediation process.

A Roadmap to Build a Successful Mediation Career

Many students in our mediation training programs ask about the steps they should take to translate their professional training into a successful mediation career. While an education and a high-quality mediation training program are essential for laying the foundation of a career, they are not the ultimate indicators of a successful career in mediation. What will ultimately shape and define one’s mediation practice is a life-long commitment to self-improvement, continuous learning, and ultimately delivering the highest-quality service, which is crucial for building a highly successful career.

I often tell those interested in pursuing a career in mediation that most jobs available in our still nascent mediation profession have yet to be created. That’s because conflict is ubiquitous in our human condition. One needs only to turn to the internet or glance at headlines to know that the world is rife with dispute and that opportunities for conflict resolution abound.

Today, law school and graduate degree programs in dispute resolution abound, creating career interests in dispute resolution. This growth in career interest, against a backdrop of diminishing judicial resources in most communities, has led to an expanded role for commercial mediators. Moreover, an increased appreciation for the cost of conflict in government, business, and other organizations has formalized institutional roles for mediators and ombudsmen, ensuring a bright future for career paths in conflict resolution in the U.S.

Action Steps for a Successful Mediation Career
For those interested in a career in conflict resolution generally, and commercial mediation specifically, it’s critical to first understand yourself and then embrace the actions required to prosper in the profession. Creative problem-solving skills are essential to finding satisfactory resolutions and addressing the interests of all parties involved. Thirty-five years ago, I left the law practice to begin one of the first mediation companies in the United States. Over the ensuing years, I’ve mediated almost daily, mentored dozens, if not hundreds, of aspiring mediators, and helped grow the world’s largest commercial mediation company. From the lessons I learned along the way, I developed a roadmap with action steps that will prove helpful to mediators in developing a successful mediation practice.

1. Self-Reflection to Activate Your Mediator’s Mind®

Mediation Begins with ‘Me’
Most “how-to” programs on developing a successful career in mediation begin with practical recommendations. What is lacking is the essential first step of personal self-reflection: Who am I? What are my strengths and weaknesses? Why do I want to embark on this new profession? How do I see my intervention? Who do I want to become? How can you hope to assist others in conflict, often with high emotion, unless you first honestly know yourself? Finding common ground in conflict resolution starts with understanding oneself to better address the core concerns of all parties involved.

A variety of self-assessment tools are available online, yet the keenest insight may well come from spouses, family, or close friends. Importantly, self-reflection is not a “check the box” moment in career development, as the most successful mediators maintain learning journals, participate in ongoing reflective groups, and otherwise treat self-reflection as a lifelong journey.

The Mediator’s Mind®
Career development, generally, and mediation more specifically, begins with developing a mental model or philosophical construct that I have coined: the Mediator’s Mind®. This model focuses on how you view your conflict intervention and will shape your thinking about career options while guiding your moment-to-moment decisions once in the profession. Think of the Mediator’s Mind® as your north star illuminating your career path.

2. Crafting a Strategic Business Plan

The road to failure in mediation is paved with those who thought that prior career success and a long contact list of former clients would guarantee success. The reality is that unless one demonstrates a commitment to strategic planning and follow-through, the chances of a successful practice will remain a distant aspiration. As the saying goes, “Failing to plan is planning to fail.”

Mission Statement
Reducing your strategic plan to a single paragraph forces you to be clear on objectives and realistic about specific goals. It will also help you avoid the natural tendency to overreach in pursuit of being a mediator for all disputes.

Short and Long-Term Objectives
The longest journey begins with a single step, and in this case, a series of short-term, single steps for which there must be direction and accountability. Short-term goals that are both measurable and realistic will enable an aspiring mediator to ultimately pursue long-term objectives.

Defining Geographic and Substantive Reach
Many entering the field of mediation will encounter a degree of competition. While competition is somewhat relative, given the potential breadth of the conflict environment, those destined for success will begin with marketplace research. Where do I see the most favorable entry point for my brand development? What are my most transferable skills? What is the opportunity to assist a potentially underserved population? Understanding these factors will help you stand out from other mediators.

Understanding the Business of Mediation

Understanding mediation as a business and, more particularly, how various business models can influence your career trajectory presents a blind spot for many seeking to prioritize skill development. The business of mediation represents the support framework that will allow you to pursue the passion of your chosen intervention. Ignored, it could become the Achilles heel of your economic success.

Business Models and Opportunities
The past several decades of our nascent profession have, in part, reflected a grand experiment in the business of mediation and, more specifically, have provided vital lessons about what business models can provide to those who aspire to offer their services as dispute resolution professionals. From solo practitioners to corporate employees to those who choose to sign on with ADR providers, there are various opportunities that merit careful consideration depending on one’s preferred career path.

Mastering Finances and Efficient Operations
For many, this will sound more like a business school course than one in dispute resolution. A keen appreciation for office overhead, marketing budgets, accounts receivable, and strategic pricing are central to career success.

3. Marketing

The concrete steps required to gain experience mediating are the sine qua non of career development programs. Specific strategies for marketing, branding, and creating mediation opportunities are the standards against which most such programs are judged. Fortunately, industry success stories abound, and important lessons can be universally applied.

Brand Development and Social Media
While succeeding when helping others resolve a conflict represents the best possible marketing, gaining those opportunities begins with getting one’s name out to the marketplace. Social media’s ubiquitous reach presents unique and creative opportunities for those entering the field to develop their own brand identity while reaching a broad audience.

Write, Talk, and Teach: Selling the Value Proposition of Conflict Resolution
For those looking to start a commercial practice, advertising is not enough. One must seek to distinguish oneself while advancing the value proposition of mediation to potential consumers of ADR services. Looking for opportunities to write, talk, and teach about the many benefits of mediation will elevate one’s reputation in the profession as both a thought leader and one who has mastered the nuanced skills of the mediation process.

Developing Opportunities to Mediate
For most aspiring professionals, this is where the rubber meets the road. How one is afforded the opportunity to assist others in conflict will depend upon what role one chooses in the profession. From volunteering to co-mediating to workplace mediation to mediating for your local or federal court, patience and persistence will be required.

4. Enhancing Skills

Long-term success in mediation is equal part skill development, marketing, and successful navigation/resolution of conflict opportunities. Strategic career planning and development ultimately pale compared to what an aspiring mediator can accomplish behind closed doors in mediation. While it’s important not to conflate outcome success with process and personal satisfaction in the mediation process, how one “sells” her services by example in the mediation room will have a far more significant impact on career success than any other variable. Many mediators balance their mediation practice with a day job, especially when starting out.

Pursue Continued Skill Development
Although this article focuses on career development, it can’t be overemphasized that career development goes hand in glove with mediation skills and techniques. The more one demonstrates a fluid understanding of conflict moments and a nuanced skill set in response to those moments, the more likely long-term success. Stated more succinctly, people will remember a job well done. Become a lifelong student of skill development, and it will pay dividends beyond the largest marketing budget.

Building on Mediation Success
Once one has gained early mediation opportunities and demonstrated a firm grasp of skills, the longer-term focus shifts to sustaining and enhancing one’s reputation and practice. Here again, the question is one of finding ways to advance one’s reputation and career opportunities. Building one’s reputation through activities within the profession, expanding one’s subject matter expertise, or simply passionately pursuing success in the mediation room are all strategies for long-term success. Regardless of career accomplishments, the most successful and experienced mediators never stray far from the lessons learned at the outset of one’s career.  

To assist those considering a career in dispute resolution and those looking to enhance their existing dispute resolution careers, Edwards Mediation Academy has made available an online course on Developing Your Career in Mediation. Our instructors, some of the most experienced professional mediators, share insights on the common challenges facing mediators in their careers, building a business plan, and the action steps to take to stand out as a professional mediator.

Conclusion
Ask any successful mediator, and they will tell you that it takes months, if not years, of commitment and persistence to build a successful mediation career. Yet, for those who persevere, there are many rewards. What could be more fulfilling than a career focused on helping parties in a dispute resolve conflicts through intellectual and emotional engagement?